Multi-racial make-up hoarder, math enthusiast. Put some glitter on it, why don't you
Twerkin’ on the highway, laying down the black top / twerkin’ on the highway, all day long I don’t stop…
1) Slow pokes.
It always seems as if these people come out of the woodwork whenever you’re running late for something. I don’t expect people to speed and can’t get mad at them for going the speed limit, but if you’re going under, don’t get pissed off when someone tailgates you. Also, if the road doesn’t have a speed limit, it’s automatically a 55mph zone.
2) Aggressive Drivers
These are quite possibly the most dangerous people on the road. They’re the ones tailgating everyone they’re come up on and the ones weaving in and out of traffic like their wife is in labor. They’re also the most likely to lose control of their vehicles. They will also tailgate you no matter where you go or how fast you’re going, and flash their brights in your window for no fucking reason. You need to take a Xanax and CALM. DOWN.
3) Soccer Moms
I’m a nanny so I’m around these people constantly. They’re essentially just grown-up high schoolers. They’re glare or yell at you for having the AUDACITY to drive above 1/2 a mile per hour when their children are within 10 miles of your vehicle. No joke. I got yelled at by a soccer mom for driving LITERALLY 5 miles per hour in my own neighborhood because her kids were outside… the speed limit is 15!
4) People who slow down when you tailgate them
There are certain instances where this is acceptable, but people seem to not know when it’s ok. It’s acceptable to slow down when:
1) You’re going the speed limit
2) The person behind you is aggressive
3) There’s a car in front of you that the tailgater doesn’t see. You couldn’t go faster even if you wanted to.
It’s not acceptable to slow down when:
1) You’re driving slow in the fast lane
2) You were originally going UNDER the speed limit
3) Just to piss people off (seriously, get a life)
5) People who speed in parking lots
Like, are you trying to kill someone? I saw someone going 35 in a parking lot with a child in the backseat. Hold on, lemme Google the number for CPS.
6) Using your turn signal half way through your turn
I didn’t even notice how dumb this was until I did it so I really can’t get that annoyed, but it is pointless. The turn signal is to indicate your turning… when you’re half-way through your turn, it’s pretty obvious what you’re doing. It’s too late.
7) Driving behind a car that is pulling out of a parking spot.
This is one of those things where I hate seeing it as much as I hate it being done to me.
FYI: the person backing out can’t see you. Don’t try to get around them just because you’re impatient. It’s super scary and it’s dangerous. It’s not going to hurt you to wait a couple seconds for the car to pull out of their spot. What’s worse is that pedestrians do this just as often as vehicles do, and that simply boggles my mind.
8) People who stare at accidents.
Is there are name for these people? cause there should be. Unless you’re slowing down to help, go away. I hate it when I’m stuck in traffic and finally come up to the cause and it’s a fender bender… is it really that interesting?? Being in an accident is embarrassing and, often times, traumatizing. Be courteous to the people involved, as well as other drivers, and just go on your merry way.
9) Being a passenger in the car of someone who has road rage
There are some drivers where I’ll just have to close my eyes and accept the fact I might not make it home.
10) Undercover cops
THAT IS JUST CRUEL, OK
Someone’s grandma on the U.S. team got way too excited about her grandson being in the Olympics and knitted sweaters for the whole team.